superstardust: roaccutane diary week2
July 26th, 2009hellooo all…!! i have reaalllly been struggling with accutane this week and after seeing some youtube videos of people’s progress I decided to go on this site and write a blog.. This is a) because i need the support, b) because my life would be of a total recluse without make up c) youtube videos of people taking accutane are mostly of teenagers and a variety of other reasons.
I saw someone’s blog here and she is 35 and lives in SW london so its ok.. maybe i am not all alone after all.
Background info: I am 28, female, never had acne as a teenager and then from two years ago it started really bad and i tried everything under the sun, lotions, potions, aspirin, antibiotics etc. I would start and then discontinue. I was in a relationship at the time and i remember taking the progesterone only pill and that made my skin even worst- with huge cystic acne whilst on holidays.. I cannot take estrogene based pill because i think i am extra allergic to the hormone and i throw up… so my dermatologist, when she first told me about accutane sccared me to death.. she went on about deformed babies and Ileft her office crying and thinking I would NEVER take roaccutane EVER!!! so i booked an appointment at the Private Clinic in Harley Street London after seeing a documentary about their acne treatments on GMTV.. (BIG REGRET) by that point my acne was so bad (this was march this month) that the nurse at the clinic told me to take roaccutane.. By this time I had changed my mind anyways and decided to take it, but first I had to be put on a Pregnancy Protection Programme (2 forms of contraceptive etcs.. so i got the coil) tons of blood tests later and my dermatologist of 2years still reluctant to prescribe, i made an appointment to see another dermatologist (she was on holiday) at the same clinic who’s attitude was” whats the big deal, here is 40mg, start straight away,,, your dermatologist is too cautious, come and see me in 4 weeks time and you can be my patient now”
he seemed too keen to transfer me to his list of patients but didnt tell me about all the side effects like my previous dermatologist was banging on about and refusing to prescribe.
I was in two minds to change dermatologist but started my 40mg prescription on 15th of this month so this is my week 2 and its soooo bad.. I am getting HUGE RED BREAKOUTS on MY NOSE>. I look like Rudolf the Reindeer.. I will need tons of make up today to go out and be able to face the public..I am seeing my boyfriend and I am embarassed he will see my skin for what it is at the moment and I am afraid to kiss him in case the makeup rubs off. Its horrible. Hopefully I wont have to live like this for much longer.. Hopefully it will all clear out soon.. I think part of the side effect being ‘depression’ simply means you get bloody DEPRESSED seeing your skin worsen when you expected a miracle cure!!!?
So thats it..,. its never been this bad.. my nose is just red with three spots and two on my forehead.. but seems to be drying out so i am crossing my fingers this is the worse to come and its road to improvement to cure from now on.. ! how is everyone else’s experience.. is week 2 the worse and then itgets better?
I REALLY DONT WANT TO LOOSE MY RELATIONSHIP OVER MY LACK OF CONFIDENCE.. I dont want to have to cake on the make up everytime to leave the house… 
fanniemarie
26th Jul, 09
Hi Superstardust,
atMy advice is, stick with it. We all experience different symptons at different times I had my mini breakout around week 5, but I’ve been really luck and responded to the drug well (am on 40mg per day). I do have side effects and after 3 months I’ve developed ‘old granny syndrome’. I ache in my joints and want to sleep all day, but I’ve seen great results and what’s 6 months of my life for hopefully, a life time of spot free skin?
I think your experience of you tube is probably because the younger generation….how old do I sound!…are more confident about puttng there face out there, I maybe wrong, though? I’m 32 and there are quite a few of us on here in our late 20’s/early 30’s. So you are definately alone.
Please try not to worry about your relationship. My fiance has born the brunt of my up and down behaviour on this drug and has been a real star. Just remember your boyfriend has been with you whilst your skin has been like this, why would he leave you because of it, you’re more than just your skin you know and I’m sure he’s with you for much more than the way you look. Just think of all the lovely compliments he will give you once you start to see the changes. They will come and your derm can always up your dose if needs be. There are solutions, try not too panic too much. Have a look at the before and after pictures on the roaccutane tab at the top, it can really put things into perspective.
Good Luck with your journey, you know where we all are if you need some advice or just some moral support
Take Care
FM
Vivi
26th Jul, 09
Hey Superstardust,
It does take some time to see improvement, I’m only starting to see real improvement now, after 9 weeks and on 60mg/day. I started on 20mg for 2 weeks, then 40mg for 6 weeks and the last two weeks I’ve been on 60mg and I still develop the odd spot. It’s a huge improvement from before roacc, but I’m not there yet.
I’ve got more or less the same side effects as FannieMarie, I am tired all the time, my hips ache and I walk stiffly when getting up from having been sitting for more than 20 min. Lips are dry, off course, and my face is alternating between red and blotchy, flaky and dry, itchy and sometimes is just normal. Arms and legs are full of eczema and various rashes.
But, it’s worth it. The improvement I can see makes me really happy and I trudge along, hoping to get to October as fast as possible! (As that is when I think I will end my treatment.) Don’t think I’ve EVER been wanting autumn to come quickly!! Haha!
Do hang in there, you won’t regret it. And I echo what FM said about your boyfriend, he loves you for who you are, spots or no spots.
I work in central London, by Oxford Circus. Just shout if you want to go for a coffee and moan!
x
atsparklypickle
26th Jul, 09
Hey Superstardust,
Its good that you have decided to write a blog, therer are plenty of lovely people here to help you out or share side effects with!!!
you have to try and remember that to get clear skin and to get all the pre-formed spots to the surface and repair the damage takes time. The first few weeks are rarely pleasant, with the many initial side effects tiredness and quite frankly fear of what MIGHT happen to you. Once you realise that your vital organs aren’t going to pack up during your sleep, I think you tend to relax. My partner has been very supportive of me during treatment, he doesn’t care if I have clear skin or not but understand s that for my own self-confidence I have to try everything I can to sort out my skin. I think the once thing I should have done is moan to him a bit less about side effects, cos I chose to take the meds, so I learnt to only moan on here instead!!! certainly made things less strained for us
. once your skin improves you self-confidence will sky-rocket, and just remember that the painful bit is the beginning of the course and IT IS WORTH IT!!!
Sparks x
atsuperstardust
27th Jul, 09
thank you sooo soo much Fanniemarie, vivi and sparklypickle for your words of encouragement and support!!:-) I am sooo glad not to have to suffer in silence….
vivi- how come your dermatologist kept increasing your dosage so often?
Sparks- no one knows i am on roaccutane yet… although some of my close friends noticed me complaining a lot about muscle ache and looking like i am about to cry..
I ended up sleeping in full-make up last night.. not good.. ;P
atVivi
27th Jul, 09
I’ve had two different derms as I started privately and then swapped over to NHS, however, they both had the same idea start me on a low dose to see how I coped on the drug and then gradually get me up to 60mg which is my max as my weight is 62kg.
atsparklypickle
27th Jul, 09
My derm has been gradually increasing my dosage too, one month at 20, one at 30, one at 35, two weeks at 40 and 6 weeks at 50 (max cos I’m about 48 Kgs). This has gently eased me into it. If I had started at 50mg cold then I think the initial side effects would have been much worse, but probably wouldnt have lasted as long…so It’s swings and roundabouts!
Sparks x
atloulou73
27th Jul, 09
Hi Superstardust,
atHang in there! Its really tough being abit older and having acne (Im 35) but after week 8, my skin is really starting to look great. The side effects are so draining but it will be worth it. My poor boyfriend has really coped it, I’ve been so achy and sore in the morning I can hardly get out of bed and I’ve cried for no reason but he has been such a support.
Keep me posted on how you are getting on.
Lou x